brittany bunnell's JournalWednesday, July 16, 20032:12AMits funny how things turn out.. there was a point where i thought i wouldnt be able to breath without you there.. then you werent there and i had to learn how to start all over.. then it came to a point where just a simple phone call would get me through the day.. now there is nothing at all..and in some miserable way i can say im ok with that. in some miserable way i can say that what we had was love. if thats waht love is im afriad for the future.. obvioulsy it just wasnt supposed to happen. obviously feelings were never balanced on either side. there is still the rest of summer for a friendship to be stregthened but honestly who knows if that will happen.. so many things have changed since summer started. lost the girl that ill never find again. a new band. a new family. new school. new home. it all came along so fast. and with that i want to say goodbye caus i am done posting in livejournal.. later everybody Current mood:  thirstyCurrent music: stacey oricco Friday, July 11, 20031:39AM - piratesi dont even know where to start. johnny fucking depp is the hottest mother fucker ever. i probably spelled his name wrong but who cares. anyway im going to bed. shalommmmmmmmmm Current music: marilyn manson= this is the new shit Tuesday, July 8, 20031:43AMthe trip was so much fun. it was great to get away. we went to san jose, santa cruz, and san fran. we played, ate, and drank. it was so much fun.. we finally have a week off from practice. which is going to be nice but suck all at once.. we have a photo shoot tomorrow which is sweet. Current mood:  bitchyCurrent music: sevendust- animosity Monday, July 7, 20033:43AMit was the most needed vacation i have ever had. but it feels so nice to be back in my own bed Thursday, July 3, 20031:18AM - system of a whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatyea so a few weeks back we saw this guy pull up in a viper at the studios. and we were all making fun of him and calling him a bitch and whatnot.. well last night we saw these to guys pull up in a 61 shelby and it was the guys from system.. and it was really cool. then tonight we see the guy with the viper and of course it was the drummer and nick and i felt like the biggest assholes ever for making fun of him before. yea great story eh? anyway we are leaving tomorrow for san jose. i cant wait. i need to get away so so so so so badly. theres so much stuff to deal with here that i just dont want to think about anymore. money, girl, parents, friends. blahh.hhh. i need a vacation. they put daves dog asleep today. that really sucked. i felt so bad. much love dave. Current mood: alone Current music: foo's Wednesday, July 2, 20032:22AM - san jose!!!!!!!!!there goes my smile again Current music: digital underground Monday, June 30, 20031:34AMhow hard is it to just call when you say you will? Current mood:  anxiousCurrent music: marilyn manson-fight song Sunday, June 29, 20037:17PM - gary magnonethere is this kid name gary. he has a live journal that you may read ever once in a while. theres something about him though. everythign he writes make me think so muhc and its exactly what i am feeling. just the way he words everything so perfectly and so vividly i love it. his last entry totally just summed up everything i had been feeling latly. what a kid. Current mood:  touchedCurrent music: deftones Saturday, June 28, 20037:43PM - glitterk so you know the mariah carey movie glitter? i just watched and i fucking cried. i dont understand.. anyway dave and nick are in san diego and justin is with his wife leaving me wiht nothing to do.. cool.. the audiences last show will be on july 9th. the new band is playing on july 4th in san jose then a few days later in vegas and we will be recording all of july so thats cool. its called faceless gray. if you knew what it meant its actually a really cool meaning but i dont feel like typing it all out.. anyway im really bored. somebody call. Current mood:  boredCurrent music: michael jackson-thriller Friday, June 27, 20032:01PMi hate feeling alone Current mood: thirstyCurrent music: blind Thursday, June 26, 20032:11AM - no more subjectsall i want to do is enjoy what im doing. hanging out with this new band. hanging out with new people. hanging out with people that were really close from the past.. it all seems like it should be so great. but its not. that part is still missing. my heart still has that feeling of despair and it just wont go away. its weird. i could be having so much fun and then within two seconds it all just runs away and my brain starts running and my heart starts crying. i miss so much. i want to have it all back. i know it will never be the same no matter how hard i try. it hurts. Current mood: guiltyCurrent music: straight up rain Wednesday, June 25, 20032:12AM - lkjahsdglkhand i give up forever to touch you Current mood: alone Tuesday, June 24, 20031:54AM - sorrrythis has nothing to do with friends. this has nothing to do with family. this has nothing to do with erika, mickle, kevin. this has to do with me. i plan on having music as my profession. what we had did not work, and another offer came up and i took it because i know this will go somewhere. what we had was fun. what i have now is strictly business and its exactly what i wanted it to be. there were always fights (between you know who), there was always disagreement between everyone, there was always a lack of energy, lack of dedication. and ill be the first to say that i was involved in each of those. think about it this way. mickle you get an offer to play with thursday. erika you get to play with the hippos. kevin you get to play with at the drive in. you get the offer. you take it. if this is what you really want to do for the rest of your life. you take it. i was unhappy with what we had. im sorry. but things just werent working. if you guys cant be friends then so be it. erika this is your first band with an instrument you dont even know. maybe more time practicing couldve helped. kev man.. they wanted you to take lessons. maybe you should have. i wish you guys the best of luck, and if you dont believe me i do love you guys. and i know dave does too. Current mood:  accomplishedCurrent music: jew-my sundown Saturday, June 21, 200312:26AM - Grily funTonight Katie, Torie, Christina and I drove to the Renasance Hotel in Hollywood....to use the bathroom. I have nothing more to say.Goodnight.-Brit Current mood: drugged tired Current music: deafening dilence Friday, June 20, 20032:17AM - shhhhhhhhiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttlast night was fun. dave and i hung out and we went to go pick up taylor and linsday and we all slept at my house.. good times. dave and i had a nice talk over a few drinks outside. i really had a good night. im still having trouble with the whole girl thing. its not how i wanted it to be and im afraid if i try to make it the way i wanted it to be its going to be a forced issue. friends or something else. either way im gonna feel like its beeing forced. things are tough though. anyway everything is looking more than amazing. cant exactly say what but everybody will find out soon enough. i think tay is coming over so im gonna go. l8r Current mood: accomplishedCurrent music: unsung hereos-rain Thursday, June 19, 20031:24AM - Japanese Bannanaleft home at 2...Venice then Simi to add Kristen and Christa to my life...got home at 5. C.P.K. + I-lie...with a bitch waitress telling me I need to take home the pizza! but being bery bery speedy I informed her I'm allergic to pepperoni. Went to Fat Chase's house to hang out...Rico Suave....Pea's and carrots..I love you Jenn-ay..."I'm not Danielle"..."It's my fault isn't it? Oh no-it IS my fault!" " are we still friends?" Current mood:  crazyCurrent music: snorting cuz Im lazy-Kristen is singing Japanese Bannanaanan Wednesday, June 18, 20037:35PM - new songthe audience wrote a new song last night at practice and we all decided its the sing along song. so memorize the words! Current mood: accomplishedTuesday, June 17, 20031:04AM - Stripped/Justified-Justin makes you want to dance in an indiscribable wayUmmmm...please no to all lesbian lovers who make out, feel each other up, and give each other lap dances in front of tons of people...you just don't do that. But besides that the concert was wicked fun! Mandy, Kiss, Tor and I had a blast. Christina Aguleria has the most incredible voice I have ever heard and despite her gaining a few pounds she keeps it real and is comfortable in her own skin-more power to her. As for Justin...words can not describe that boy-WOW. He is incredible at dancing, singing, beat boxing, and to top it off is so beautiful...what a gifted child-he sure can shake what his mama gave him. Thanx for a grrrrrrrrrrrrr8 night girls. P.S. we sit and make fun of people for fun-deal with it. P.P.S. Dancing thur-can't wait-your hot.....see you there.....-Brit Current mood: fat Current music: cry me a river-remix bitch Sunday, June 15, 20031:19AMfoo fighters, goo goo dolls, liam lynch, cpk, nights in a parking lot saying goodbye, parties, kissing, holding hands, darkness, feet, armpits, practices, shows, pictures, phone messages, vice, prom, and a million other things.. this is what i am going to miss Current mood:  tiredCurrent music: jt-9 Thursday, June 12, 20035:43PM - bleeding hearts seem to commonwhat does it take to move on from somebody? i wish i had it as easy as she did. she never stops running through my mind. i dont know how things changed. one morning you just wake up and its all over? everything is suddenly different and emotions are gone? just doesnt make sense to me. does it take another person in my life to get over her? i dont think thats it. im almost mad that someone can totally just so easily say ok it would be better to be friends, like its nothing. being friends hurts so much, but i try to be ok with it. i dont even know what im saying anymore. Current mood: annoyedCurrent music: incubus-i miss you Navigate: (Previous 20 entries) |
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